Christine wants people to know that you will adjust to a new normal and things do get easier.
Transcript
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Well, I mean, I think that’s something else I would say to anyone else who’s experiencing this is, when I was in it, I really could never picture myself feeling the way I do now. Like, my son is a handful. You know, he’s a typical, just like three year old handful. But I remember when he was born, and, and he was like, a couple weeks old, and I was in it.
And I remember at the worst, I just thought, like, I don’t know how I will ever accept this as my new life as this new part of my identity. I couldn’t believe how badly I wanted to go back to my old life, so that I had freedom. And I had choice. This felt like I was just trapped. I felt trapped in these circumstances. And it wasn’t anything that I could ever make go away. And it’s not that I wanted my son to go away. I just I couldn’t believe this was my circumstances. And I thought this was a huge mistake. I should never have done this. And I’ll never adjust.
So, you, I just want people to know that you will adjust. Things aren’t going to go back to the way they were. But you will adjust to your new normal and things do get easier. They really, they really do. You have new challenges. And if I were to say now, I don’t I don’t miss my son as a newborn. I don’t pretend that I wish I could go back and enjoy that again. I don’t wish that the older he gets, the better it gets for me. And I’m happy to be accepting of that. I really am.
So, I’m really kind of, I don’t know, something good that came out of it was, I’m really like, proud of myself for kind of going through that and, and sort of battling it. I mean, I was so lucky to have so much support. But in the end, I had to get through it myself and I did it. And I just can’t get over how much I love my kid. He’s just, it’s painful now how much I love him, as opposed to pain from not feeling this bond.
Now, it’s painful to think about how much I love him. It’s like having your whole heart just walking around. So that’s such a good thing that that that kind of came from it was to realize that’s how powerful it is that you love your child, because it just helps me see that that was a medical thing I went through. And it’s very normal. And it’s something that if you have the right resources can be managed so that you can have a positive outcome like this.
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